07
Jan
10

FEARnet: Top Five New Year’s Resolutions For Twilighters

Fearnet has this awesome list of New Year’s resolutions for Twilighters.
New Moon

Tired of the Twilight haters? Here are five key resolutions to make your 2010 another awesome year in unabashed Twilight obsession.

If you’re sick of the same old New Year’s resolutions – lose weight, stop smoking, watch more good horror – I have a new challenge for you: take on one or more of these Twilight-oriented goals for 2010 and see how much more respectable your secret (or not so secret) obsession with Edward Cullen can become in your everyday dealings with haters. If everyone does their part, we can all help “normalize” the all-consuming, life-altering affliction known as Twilight mania in the New Year! We’ll no longer be second-class citizens in the eyes of the film world! (Especially if ticket sales stay consistent.) Here’s how to start.

1. Resolve to think critically about Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.

Sun Tzu advised us to know ourselves and our enemy, and that’s where we should begin. We know why we love our sparkly vampires – the romance, the longing, the perfectly coiffed Robert Pattinson – but is there something to the criticism spewed by non-fans? Is New Moon anti-feminist? (Maybe-kinda-sorta, depending on how you see it.) Why does Twilight have a pro-abstinence message? (Stephenie Meyer’s Mormon. Get over it!) Make your own pro-Twilight debates stronger by knowing who you’re arguing against and what they have to say because, let’s face it, the Twilight films are fun but imperfect. And as a wise group of animated soldiers once said, knowing is half the battle.

2. Resolve to expand your horror movie horizons.

Yes, sparkly vampires and mega-hot teen wolves are our own personal brand of horror movie heroin. But hey, we might also like other kinds of recreational narcotics, metaphorically speaking. (Apologies for the inappropriate comparison, but Stephenie Meyer started it.) In all seriousness, the world of Twilight could be a gateway to discovering the terrors that await our senses in the larger realm of horror. Want to kick the sexy up a notch? Try True Blood. Like your werewolves hairy and hunky? Watch for Benicio del Toro’s The Wolf Man. And maybe, slowly, you’ll inch your way up to (or back to) more macabre horror delights, the kind of truly terrifying tales where vampire boys and girls really bite.

3. Resolve to re-read the books in time for June.

With only six months to go until the next Twilight event movie rearranges your social calendar (The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, in theaters June 30) you’ll want to re-read the books that got you hooked on Edward and Jacob to begin with. Since the films are constructed to cater to the fans, you’ll get the most out of your movie-going experience if you know enough of the story to recognize what’s faithful to the material and which lines have been taken straight from the pages to RPattz’s luscious, undead lips. The earlier you re-read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, the less distracted you’ll find your waking normal hours; instead of daydreaming about kisses, vampire fights and sleeping bag scenes during class/at the office/while driving, you’ll be able to appear less zombie-like and more like a normal person (even if you still can’t wait to get home to pick up where you left off, human interactions be damned).

4. Resolve to start a Twilight fansite/blog/group.

Here’s a great way to channel that energy and enthusiasm you have in anticipation for the Eclipse’s summer debut: start a Twilight blog (or support group)! There’s no better way to connect with like-minded fans, especially when your own friends/boyfriends/husbands don’t get why you’re always gushing about Bella’s romantic agony and Edward’s general dreaminess. Keep the Twilight talk at a sane minimum at the dinner table, and chat to your heart’s delight in a nurturing environment where everyone knows the difference between black and red and golden-colored eyes.

5. Resolve to convert one person to the cause, or if you’re a hater, give Twilight a shot yourself.

Why not share the thing you love with a friend? Think of this as a grassroots campaign, where word-of-mouth can do wonders to spread the gospel of Twilight. (After all, many of us scoffed at the whole thing before we picked up the books… and a few crazed, voracious days later, we’d become lifelong converts.) Sometimes it takes a little nudge, and a lot of open encouragement, to give newbies the courage to get wrapped up in Twilight. So spread the love this year and tell a friend why they might like it. Even better, if you’re a skeptic yourself, give the first book a fair shot. You might like it. And you’ll probably even love it.

A parting message to my fellow Twilighters in 2010 regarding that obsessive Twilight love: Own it! Share it! Feed it!

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